grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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