seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
