margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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