So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
40s are totally the cure
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
