So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
