This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
