Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize