Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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