And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
