I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
