Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
