Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
