wakey wakey hands off snakey
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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