low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
