I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
