quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
there is glitter all over my balls
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
