I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
