Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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