Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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