He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
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