Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize