Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
not ubering you a puppy
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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