Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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