you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
