the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
