Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
