I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
