she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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