I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
