i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
