Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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