Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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