so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just gift wrapped bread.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
