dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
