my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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