Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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