It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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