so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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