I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
