I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
