Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
