help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
