Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize