She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
