did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize