i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
