you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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