North Korea, Best Korea!
I need to stop coming to work sober
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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