Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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