I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
What drink are we having for lunch?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
