She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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