okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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