i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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