Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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