i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
