O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
