Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
