but the lizard people decide everything anyway
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
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