I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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