ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
