why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
