8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize